


all the kingdoms of the world

by TrekFaerie



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Historical, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 20:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekFaerie/pseuds/TrekFaerie
Summary: Crowley intercedes on behalf of a friend.





	all the kingdoms of the world

**Author's Note:**

> jesus calling god "father" in a world where god is explicitly female is stupid as hell and neil gaiman simply doesn't want to think about the logical conclusion of jesus having two mothers, once again i have to do ALL the work around here because he is a coward.

When it was finally written down, those behind the Bible made three critical errors in their reporting on Jesus’ temptation:

1\. That it happened shortly after his baptism.  
2\. That it took place on a mountaintop.  
3\. And that it was done by Satan himself.

These are all entirely inaccurate, as anyone who was there could tell you. The temptation happened much, much later; it was but a few short months before the Crucifixion, though no one human, other than Jesus himself, knew that at the time. It took place in a small, dark tavern in Jericho, and though it was known as “the High Place” among locals, it was for a very crude reason, and not one appropriate for a religious work. As for who did it… Well, it was someone much more well-known to him.

Jesus brightened immediately. “Typhoeus!” He gestured wildly, indicating the empty seat at his table (such a rare occurrence; one would think someone had purposefully made it that way), and his smile was so kind and his eyes so trusting that, for a passing moment, he considered just… leaving. Jericho. Palestine. Earth. Reality. But, he’d made a promise.

“Cause trouble,” they always told him, Downstairs. Wasn’t his fault how vague that was, as an order.

“It’s so rare to catch you alone, these days,” Crowley said, grinning weakly, taking the seat, and perhaps a little demonic intervention to make sure things stayed that way. “Seems like things are really heating up for you.”

“In a way.” He wondered if that enigmatic little smile, the one he gave into his cup of wine, annoyed the other humans, or if it was part of the reason why… Well. “Is there something you want from me?”

“Just a chat. It’s good to just sit and have a chat sometimes, you know. While you still can.”

Jesus grew quiet, placing his cup onto the table. “If he’s put you up to this…”

“There’s no ‘he’ involved in this,” he said, perhaps a bit too quickly. “It’s more about… Well, it’s _all_ about Her, isn’t it?”

For a moment, he was visibly shocked – and then, his eyes narrowed. “Are you devil or angel?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.

“Let’s just say I’m… representative of a third, unrelated party at this juncture.” He splayed his hands out in front of him passively. “Here to bring up a, perhaps previously unconsidered, alternative option.”

“… There are no alternative options.”

“Oh, Jesus. Nobody’s ever accused you of being uncreative. Surely even you’ve thought about it.”

He didn’t reply. He simply stared into his cup, such an old expression on such a young face. He was still so very, very young.

“You could leave. Today. Just start out into the deserts and never look back.” Crowley leaned in closer, barely speaking above a whisper. “Go somewhere else, anywhere else, anywhere but this strange land in this backward time. They’re doing some fascinating stuff over in Bactria, boy; you could be part of _that_ history, if you’d like.”

He traced his finger over the table, lighting it up with a fire only they could see; an outline of the globe as no human would see for hundreds of years. “The world is so much larger than what She has let you seen,” he said. “There are places She’s never paid much attention to; you could lay low in Baekje, or with the Nok, or the Nazca… Endless opportunity. She might not even notice you’re gone, for a decade or so; you’d be shocked at the number of times She’s just outright misplaced Cain. It wouldn’t be easy, but neither is what She has in mind, is it?

“I shall do as my Mother commands,” he said, and perhaps it was just wishful thinking, but Crowley was _sure_ there was a moment there, just a hint of doubt behind his words, if he could get just the right amount of leverage…

“Will you? What about your mother _here_ , then? Poor Mary. Do you think she’s ready to see what she will have to see, hear what she’ll have to hear? Every bit of pain you feel, she’ll feel it tenfold. You know she will.”

He closed his eyes. “She knew what she was agreeing to,” he said, “back then, when the angel visited her.”

“No, she didn’t. None of them do. Frankly, I’m not so sure _you_ know.”

Crowley grasped Jesus' arm, pressing his thumb into the soft flesh of his wrist, where holy blood thrummed in human veins under human skin. “Your God is a God of miracles,” he said, “but She can’t even promise you it won’t hurt.”

Jesus pulled his arm from his grip, drawing it back against his chest. “… Leave me,” he said. “And save your temptations. I will not listen to yours, or anyone else’s. Her word is final.”

And, well. That was that, wasn’t it? He’d made the choice, even if it really was one already made for him. And there wasn’t anything anyone could do about that.

It didn’t make him feel any better about what he still had to do, but it was good to start early on the rationalization, he’d found.

Judas was across the way at the stable of the inn, pretending to tend to the other apostles’ horses while his own stood, fully mounted and prepared, in the wings. He looked up as Crowley walked by, his expression so filled with hope, so bright with dreams of the future – all dashed with a simple shake of his head. That one small movement could cause so much grief.


End file.
